jueves, 13 de marzo de 2008

Manual del Macho Mexicano

Con el debido respeto a todas las personas que podría afectar este manual,le dedico el mismo a todos mis compañeros Power Rangers de mi banda Luna.Sé que eso se leyó de muy puto pero me vale verga,espero que con esto ya vayan aumentando las críticas con respecto a mis chistes jeje.

1. Es de muy puto coger sólo con pendejas lindas. El verdadero samurai empalador omnívoro y de amplio espectro se tira todo lo que camina.

2. Es de muy puto sobador de miembros lloriquear porque el agua sale fría. Un verdadero cacique mapuche se baña en el Everest en pelotas y en invierno.

3. Es de puto tragaleche resetear la PC usando CTRL+ALT+DEL. Un verdadero macho nomada desenchufa la CPU y la vuelve a enchufar tal como se enchufan a tu hermana.

4. Es de re-puto mascabultos tomar capuchino. Un buen macho toma café bien negro y amargo (y usar sacarina en el capuchino te hace aún más puto); también es de recontra puto soplapenes que no te guste aunque sea una sola canción de AC/DC y Guns n Roses.

5. Es de caimán sin dientes (sólo se defiende con la cola) levantar la mano para preguntar en clase. El Cocodrilo pregunta sin pedir permiso.

6. Es de ordeñador bucal de penes anónimos tomarse en serio los silbatos y multas de los putos parásitos de los transitos.

7. Es de muy puto tener una página en Myspace. El verdadero macho mexicano no necesita de Internet para enganchar nenas y tener amigos.

8. Es propio de persona con el culo lleno de esperma cortar la luz para cambiar un foquito. Todo macho debe estar preparado para recibir una descarga eléctrica (es de recontra marica morirse si eso pasa).

9. Es de perra chihuahua en celo ponerse Caladryl para las picaduras de mosquito. El verdadero Zidane cabeceador se toma veneno para ratas, cosa que si los mosquitos lo pican mueren envenenados.

10. Es de homosexual reprimido no sentir atracción sexual por la hermana de la novia. Todo macho siente ganas de ponérsela, aunque sea fea, sólo por el hecho de ser la hermana.

11. Es de triste personita gay resentida conseguir ciudadanía de un país extranjero y andar mostrándosela a las chicas en los boliches para ganar. El tercermundista nato, hijo de Kukulkán y Tlaloc, y consciente del lugar de mierda donde le tocó nacer, no pide ciudadanía extranjera, y si se la dan les dice que se la metan en el culo.

12. Es de puto, pero muy puto, cola con vértigo, traga leche y catador de miembros masculinos ir con el jefe a cuanta reunión lo inviten. El verdadero Shaka Zulu, Homo Erectus, remachador de teresos, lo mira a los ojos al cabrón y lo manda directo a la chingada!!!

13. Es bien de putardo precoz , masajeador de vergas con el culo defender a los putos; dejate de joder, si queres un pelado ,acá tengo el más grande!!!

14. Es de putazo maricón que hace buches con semen salir con amigos a comer sushi!!! El verdadero macho mexicano descorchador de pendejas se junta en el campo a comer un asado.

15. Es de fabiruchis, come truchas del Océano Atlántico, chupador de "containers" llenos de vergas importadas de Somalía, decir que en el fútbol lo importante es competir. El verdadero pijudo trotamundos mexicano, cogedor de toda especie en la Tierra, hace mierda al rival con tal de ganar, deja la vida en cada batalla; y si pierde, arma putacera para que el puto del árbitro suspenda el partido.

16. Es de GIGAPUTO, lame escroto, soba carne en barra, que se limpia los dientes con el cepillo de carne, ser un puto empleado de por vida con la credencial colgando del cinturón, el trajecito de MacOwens todos los días y los Ticket Restoran. El verdadero Sandro patagónico, el Gengis Khan emperador no sólo no busca trabajo, sino que lo único que le cuelgan son las bolas. Todos sus días son casual y se pone traje para un velorio, para colarse en un casorio o para pedir dinero.

17. Es de puto, mono manco (Pela la banana con el culo), ver la película El Señor de los Anillos y que te guste el elfo tiragomas con arco y flecha. El verdadero macho se identifica con el enano vergudo que se quiere agarrar a putazos con todos.

18. Es de reputazo cola voraz usar delivery. El macho va a la pizzería, compra ahí, se aguanta la espera y se come una empanada de carne mientras el pendejo de la motoneta saca el asiento para sentarse directamente en el tubo.

19. Es de legítimo bala al que cualquier caño le viene bien ver telenovelas del tipo Montecristo y Amor En Custodia. El verdadero Toro semental se apodera de la tele y mira FX, ESPN o Fox Sports.

20.
Es de recontra puto soplapenes muerde almohadas escuchar mamada y media de "música" como el reggueton o como carajos se escriba y que no te guste aunque sea una sola canción de AC/DC y Guns n Roses.

21. Si no haces alguna cosa que diga que eres macho mexicano entonces eres un xcanlol putote amante de los pitos y adorador de los miembros.

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